


Hindsight

by g33kyclassic



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Erik Has Feelings, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23165221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g33kyclassic/pseuds/g33kyclassic
Summary: Charles has been best friends and roommates with Erik for years.  He's been there to support him as Erik tried to be a successful actor, fighting for roles and fighting against anti-mutant sentiment.   When a woman shows up on their doorstep with an unexpected surprise, Charles doesn't hesitate to act.Is this the end of their friendship?  Or will fate bring them together again?
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr & Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 27
Kudos: 61





	1. Present

“You don’t have to do this Charles.” Moira pleaded.

“Of course I do.” Charles replied dismissively, not even looking up from his packing. “There’s nothing else I possibly can do. This could ruin his career, his life – I can prevent all of that.”

“What about your life?” Moira asked

Charles looked up at Moira and knew he’d never be able to explain. How could she possibly understand? She hadn’t been a completely lost freshman who’d met Erik while working behind the scenes on the year end Shakespeare production at Juilliard. Erik hadn’t taken her under his wing, offered her a home, and stood by her no matter how many people questioned his actions and mocked Charles’ ill fitting clothes and nerdy behaviour. She hadn’t moved across the ocean with him when he graduated, set on finding careers in the West End and as Erik had put it ‘having the adventure of a lifetime’. Moira wasn’t hopelessly in love with Erik the way Charles had been for years.

“I have to do this.” Was all he said.

And he did, have to do it. Erik had been doing well in London. He’d gotten a few stage roles, been hired as an extra and in bit roles for a number of television shows, he’d even done some voice work. Six months ago though, he’d had his big break; a co-starring role in a limited run play on the West End, playing opposite a big-name actor. He’d been noticed. As soon as the run was over, he’d had offers – almost more than he could handle. He’d been shooting in LA for the past month, sending Charles pictures of himself in sunglasses, his skin bronzed, his smile a mile wide.

Charles wasn’t going to let anything ruin Erik’s success. It was hard earned and well deserved. His own fledgeling career (and his lofty dreams of directing plays one day, maybe even writing something and directing it for the stage) was going next to nowhere. Young men like him – thoughtful, hard working, with big dreams and little to no experience – were a dime a dozen. Charles spent far more time working temp positions than he did in theatres.

“Where are you going to go?” Moira asked.

“I got a job offer – in Edinburgh. I called them yesterday and accepted the offer. I explained my situation and they were very supportive. They have some programs I can make use of.”

“You’re really going to do this. Alone. And you’re not going to tell Erik.”

“I’m going to tell him I got a job, which is the truth.” Charles struggled to hold back a flood of emotion but managed to push through. “He doesn’t need me in his day to day life, Moira. He made it. London, Hollywood – they see his talent now. He’ll be a star… as he should be.”

Charles stared down at his two suitcases and three backpacks; he was almost certain he had everything they would need. He wished he was completely sure, but he’d never done anything like this before and the gaps in his knowledge were vast.

He turned to Moira and stretched out his arms. “I can take her now.”

Moira passed the sleeping baby his way and Charles cradled her gently in his arms. He already loved her smell, her tiny hands, her bright green hair. She was perfect. She’s been perfect since the moment that horrible woman had shown up on his doorstep last week and told him she’d slept with Erik last year, got pregnant, had the baby, not bothered to tell Erik about any of it, and now she “didn’t want to take care of a little mutant freak”. Charles hadn’t hesitated for a moment to grab Lorna away from her, scrunching his nose distastefully as she passed him a few meager belongings for the baby, all while smoking a cigarette.

Moira helped him carry things down to his rental car. Charles carefully slipped baby Lorna into her carseat and turned to face his friend again.

“Thank you, Moira. For doing this for me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

“I think this is a horrible plan, Charles. You should just tell him he has a daughter. He’s an adult man, he can deal with this and he should! This isn’t your mistake!” Moira insisted, repeating an argument they’d already had earlier in the week.

“She’s not a mistake.” Charles said firmly. “And you know how fragile things are for mutants. Erik has his success and a great deal of that rests on him looking human. Lorna is visibly a mutant. And her mother appears to be a disaster. Lorna deserves the world – and I will do everything I can to make sure she has that. And I will protect Erik and his career.” Charles sighed. “I know we don’t see eye to eye on this, but promise me you’ll keep this secret?”

Moira frowned, but nodded slowly. Charles held in his sigh; she was lying. He could hear her plans to call Erik as soon as Charles left in the forefront of her thoughts. Charles smiled, hugged Moira tightly, and quietly and quickly removed Lorna and all of Charles plans surrounding her, from her mind.

“Enjoy the apartment.” He said cheerily as he stepped back.

“I will definitely enjoy your centrally located London apartment that is close to anything and everything a young professional could want.” Moira smiled, her face suddenly light and unconcerned.

Charles got into the car and waved as he pulled off. Moira would enjoy the apartment and he and Lorna could disappear, preventing any sort of chaos in Erik’s life. He glanced in the rearview mirror, spotting a sleeping Lorna and his heart swelled.

He was losing his best friend. It was difficult to even imagine not seeing Erik again after having spent the past six years with their lives so entwined. Charles knew Erik would never love him the way Charles dreamt of. Erik was straight and Charles had long ago settled contentedly into acceptance that their friendship was worth any pain he might feel at knowing his romantic love for Erik would always be one-sided. But now, he had Lorna. And though she had bright green hair, all her other features looked like mini copies of Erik. He would have Lorna. A baby to love and care for. A piece of Erik in his life forever and always, and Charles would treasure that in every way that he could. 

“It’s you and me now, little one.” Charles declared. “You and me.”

Charles kept his eyes on the road ahead of him and hoped for a future full of laughter and love. A future completely different than his own childhood. And quietly, almost desperately, he hoped that Erik would flourish, that he would be the actor and mutant advocate he’d always wanted to be, and that he would forgive Charles for disappearing without a would, but perhaps not forget him, at least not completely.


	2. Past

“So… tell me about your roommate.”

“Momma.” Erik groaned. 

“It is a mother’s right to pry.” Edie replied easily. “You were all excited to live by yourself, to have your ‘freedom’. And now I find you have a roommate. You can imagine my surprise.”

“He needed a place Momma.” Erik frowned. “Whoever he was living with before, his roommate or whatever, was an asshole. He was going to go live in a shelter or something. I had a room. So I offered it to him.”

Erik looked over at his mother, took in the loving grin on her face and the pride in her eyes, sighed deeply and shook his head.

“This is not better not be in your next speech.” He warned.

“I can’t talk about my son and his good deeds? Helping his fellow students out of kindness?” Edie smiled. “It would be an excellent example of how we need better funding for students and secure and safe housing. Is your roommate a mutant? Was he being discriminated against?”

“Charles isn’t a political pawn.” Erik grumbled.

“You know I would never use your friend as a pawn.” Edie conceded. “I was mostly teasing. But I would like to meet him and learn more about the boy. And your real world experience with mutants and the education system is valuable to me. You know my campaign for mutant rights is sincere and I know, despite all your grumbling, you support them too.”

“I just don’t want to kiss as many asses to get basic rights. It’s bullshit.”

“It’s politics liebling.” Edie sighed. “Bending isn’t always a weakness, my boy. Not all battles can be won by the loudest voice.”

Erik stabbed at his food and chewed forcefully. He loved his mother; he truly did. And he was very proud that her political career had been so successful. A Jewish widow with a mutant son was not the type of candidate that generally made it to Congress, but his mother had done just that. She was a voice for the disenfranchised: for immigrants, for mutants, for women, and religious minorities. In the past seven years, she’d done a great deal of good for mutants. 

Erik could admit he wished the progress was faster. He wished mutants didn’t have to suppress or hide their abilities in so many places. He wished so many of his peers weren’t living in fear. And sometimes, selfishly, he wishes his mother’s life, his life, wasn’t in the public eye so often. He wished he could be an average college student who went to protest rallies, and acted in plays, and went out drinking with friends. That wasn’t his life, however. His every screw up could lead to tabloid headlines, and his every success could be held up as an example in his mother’s next campaign ad. Some days it made him want to scream.

“Can I come over and meet him? This Charles?” Edie asked softly, clearly sensing Erik’s moodiness. “Will you tell me a bit about him?”

“I’ll ask him.” Erik said. “He’s shy, but he’ll probably say yes – he’s a people pleaser.”

“Tell me a little about him, Erik. How did you meet?”

“We met during the end of the year play. He was part of the backstage set up crew. He was always getting harassed by this mutant-phobic asshole, Mitch. Charles is small and kinda timid; an easy target. One night I was backstage trying to run my lines and he overheard. He helped me. He’s got an incredible memory. I’m pretty sure he could have recited the whole play on his own by the time we were halfway through rehearsals.” Erik explained, surprised when he realized he was smiling. “Anyway, that’s how we met.”

“How sounds lovely, Erik. I’m sure I’ll love him.”

* * *

She did love Charles, which was hardly a surprise. Charles, in Erik’s opinion was the type of person who could worm his way into anyone’s good graces when he put his mind to it. 

Ever since Erik had mentioned his mother was coming over, Charles had been running around, cleaning every inch of the apartment, fretting over what he would say, baking batch after batch of scones and muffins. 

“You don’t have to impress her, Charles. She’s my mother, not the Queen of England.” Erik said between bites of Charles’ delicious dill and cheese scones.

“You’re sure she likes scones?” Charles muttered, frowning down at his baked goods. “Maybe I should make a pie...”

“If you bake any more, we’re both going to get fat. Though you could use a little extra padding.” Erik teased, poking Charles in the ribs.

“Stop it!” Charles twisted away with a laugh. 

“You stop.” Erik argued. “No more baking. No more fussing. I didn’t hire you to be my maid for fuck’s sake – you’re my roommate.”

“She didn’t think you were going to have a roommate.” Charles said, finally sitting down with Erik at the kitchen table. “She could be angry –“

“She’s not. I told you – she’s completely fine with you being here. You’ll see.”

As predicted, Edie had embraced Charles as her own son within moments. She loved his baking. She thanked him for helping Erik with his lines at the year-end play. Complimented his impeccable manners (while giving Erik a pointed look, meant to chide him about his own lack of proper comportment).

Erik left the room to get away from his mother’s silent critique, splashing his face with water in the bathroom, before coming back out to find Charles and his mother engaged in deep discussion on the couch.

“I greatly admire your work on Mutant Rights, Congresswoman.” Charles said, voice dripping with sincerity. “The Equal Access in Education Bill’ was a significant step forward in making educational institutions safer for all students.”

“That was a tough piece of legislation to get through the House.” Edie grimaced. “I am so very glad to hear it’s had real impact. Are you a mutant as well?”

“Oh!” Charles sat back slightly. “I… yes. People don’t... that is, I am able to keep my mutation hidden relatively easily. Which has had its advantages.”

Erik stopped at the edge of the room, holding his breath in anticipation. He’d known Charles nearly four months now and he had never spoken in any detail about his own mutation. Erik was sure, absolutely sure he’d suffered from terrible treatment due to his power, not that Charles would ever admit as much. Despite Charles’ vocal support of his mother’s fight for mutant rights, Charles had declined every invitation to join Erik at the local Mutant Alliance meeting.

“What is it you can do?” Edie asked, a gentle smile on her face. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you must be very talented.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Even from his perch several feet away, Erik saw Charles’ face pale. Charles stammered his way through an awkward thank you and goodbye, and fled the room, brushing past Erik’s without so much as a glance.

“What in the world…” Edie caught Erik’s eye, completely confused.

“He doesn’t talk about his mutation.” Erik said, sitting down on the couch beside his mother.

“Never?” She asked, her face troubled.

“Never.” 

“But you know, right? He’s spoken to you?”

“No.” Erik frowned, looking at his hands. 

“Life hasn’t been very kind to him, has it?” Edie said sadly. 

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s good you’ve offered him a place here, Erik. Somewhere he can feel safe, accepted. Maybe, later, he’ll open up to you.” Edie sounded hopeful and Erik tried to feel some of her optimism.

“I hope he will. Someday.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I have started yet another fic. Hangs head in embarrassment.
> 
> This fic will be told in a non-linear fashion, jumping to various points in Erik & Charles' relationship, and their separate lives as well.
> 
> Updates will come when they come, as I have far too many things on the go at the moment to have a schedule right now.


End file.
